The History of Me

Let me tell you a little bit more about me and my upbringing. I was born on September 3rd, 1996. My parents were Monica Pegram and Dale Shatswell. I have one half-brother on my mothers’ side, and another half-brother on my fathers’ side. I have never met the brother on fathers’ side, but I grew up with the brother on my mothers’ side. We are seven years apart so there’s a pretty significant age difference. We grew up together, but it felt different at some points.

My father wasn’t the best significant other to my mom at the time I was young though. He was an alcoholic and harmful to my mother. He never once harmed me or my brother, but he wasn’t that nice to my mom when he was drinking. He however did find help and became sober for five years before he passed away. He passed away from a heart attack in January of 2012. He made amends with me and my mother before he passed away though and my mother said that she would always love him for being my father.

My mother was the one who raised me because she had my dad leave when I was five years old due to him being abusive towards her. He never laid a hand on me though! I don’t want you thinking that he was a terrible father, he wasn’t! he just had a problem that he didn’t know how to handle. So, after my father left my mother was the one who raised me. She and I were pretty much the exact same person. Our birthdays are three days apart and so were both Virgos. She eventually met someone and got married when I was ten years old. His name is Larrell Brown. He also happens to be a Virgo and his birthday is the day after mine!

Funny coincidence am I right! He was the perfect mediator between my mother and I’s arguments. We bickered and fought a lot because neither of us could let anything go and always had to have the last word for everything. It drove my stepdad mad! One time he even pulled over the car and yelled at the both of us to just sit there and shut our mouths ha-ha. But, all in all, my mother and I wouldn’t stay mad at each other for very long. At the end of the night I would go into her room and cuddle with her on the bed and she would just hug and kiss me like nothing happened at all. She was truly the best mother I could’ve ever asked for, and I miss her dearly.

My mother sadly passed away on May 30th, 2014. Not long after my father. I was seventeen at the time and about to finish up my junior year of high school. The last three month of her life are honestly kind of a big blur to me. We found out in February that she had brain cancer, which, was something I never expected to happen in a million years. She later that month

had brain surgery and the doctors had found that the cancer didn’t starting her brain. Meaning that it had spread from somewhere else. The doctors found out that the cancer had come from her lungs and it had spread to her brain. The doctors gave her around three months to live and they were right. She passed away shortly after that and that entire time was a blur. I’ve read about people going into shock in books and seen it on TV in movies, but I never knew that that actually happened in real life. The day they told me my mom was gone is a day that I will never forget. Its five years later and I still remember every detail of that day like it happened yesterday.

I hope I haven’t lost you yet, I just wanted you to get to know who I am and where I come from. It’ll better help explain some of the future articles ill write and give a little clarity on why I am how I am and how things affect me. I am an emotional wreck sometimes and its hard going through some of this stuff without my mother or my father around. Especially since I’m pregnant, all my dang hormones are wacky! I’ve always had emotional attachment issues, and after I lost mom they basically tripled. I honestly could’ve ended up a lot worse and I’m thankful for the people I have in my life and the friends I had in high school to help me through the emotional turmoil that I was going through. Senior year was a rough year for me and had I not had the friends I had to make it through, I would honestly probably be in a hole somewhere.

I have always tried to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to make my mom and dad proud of who they raised and that is honestly my biggest fear is disappointing them. I hope they’re watching from wherever they are, and they love the daughter they made. I know that my mother wouldn’t appreciate the tattoos or the piercings that I have, but I hope she could look past it and see that ill always be her little girl and ill always love her and respect her.

That is one thing I know that she would turn over in her grave if she ever saw on me, is my tattoos. She didn’t understand why people got them and never even wanted me to dye my hair, let alone permanently mark my body. Actually, one of my absolute (if not my all-time) favorite tattoo is a portrait I have of her on my arm. Man, I love this tattoo! I get compliments on it all the time! Everyone who sees it always say how beautiful it is and how amazing the work is. I always respond with “thank you, its my mom so I did my research for this one. It also cost me a pretty penny so it better be good.” Usually people laugh and ask how much I spent on it, and let me tell you, if my mom were to ever hear the price (or even see the tattoo for that matter) she would probably yell at me and say “you should’ve just kept the damn picture!” but it’s beautiful and I would gladly sit the six hours I had to and pay the $600 I paid for it all over again. I plan on getting my dads portrait too, but I must save for that one and with Silvia coming and getting prepared for her, its going to take some time. Also, can’t really get tattooed while your pregnant, so that also puts a hold on things too.

I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit more about me, my family, and where I come from. I love my family and even though we aren’t perfect, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. See you soon.